” In this dark, slippery corner of the room, watchful eyes in every turn…as I tune myself in and out in this upbeat music in the background. My feet gliding on the tiled floors, silent & careful. The sounds of pleasure radiating from the flat screen, full of promises, filling the watcher with carnal expectations of what is to come and igniting the passion locked inside and must not be seen or heard outside these walls.”
How many times I have traveled the same corridor. What have brought me here?
Earlier today I woke up melancholic. I look up left of me and it was empty, cold and unruffled. How I missed the soft breathing of another in my ear. His gentle touch, the feel of his naked skin against mine and the light stubble of his face teasing my back. How I longed for the warm caress that leads to a deep passionate kiss and bodies intertwined. So familiar but yet still so many places yet to explore. As I feel him inside me, we are no longer two people not united by reason but bounded by love. Fingers locked as we slowly reach the climax, exhilarating & unapologetic. You and me, against the tide, against the wind.
How quick those times have gone. Sadly, like the embers of the fire on a cold, winter’s night, the heat withered and the ashes blown away, never to return, never to be seen.
” So here I am, naked & exposed, with only a thin fabric on my body that hides my complete being. Slowly I walk the dim-lighted path head down and with my heart thumping, wanting to burst out of my chest. The raw, uninhibited feeling of vulnerability oozes out of my pores. Every step, every turn brings a dread in me that pierces the shattered pieces of my soul. The soul you have taken away from me and that part of you, that still lingered. And yet for a fleeting moment I felt free, I felt me. “
Dark shadows follow me, invisible hands reaching out, letting their desires known. Sudden glances full of meaning, a hidden language only spoken among the few while others prefer to join in the fray. Why are they here? Is it the thrill of unsolicited pleasure? Or to fill the void and longing of someone else’s touch, the next kiss or the satisfaction of being wanted and validated. In this place, no one is being judged, no one is being ridiculed for what you are. In the privacy of the room, I can be whoever I want to be and whomever he wants me to be. For a fleeting moment, there are no worries in the world but the rapture of sexual gratification. Uninhibited, unwarranted and no strings.
A fool I might be to pretend that I require this. To expose myself for a moment of vindication. And my answer is yes, I do. For as I head to the showers to wash the remnants of my brief encounter, the water cascading on my back, I feel no regret, no remorse. I leave this place with a renewed sense of acceptance, we are human beings after all. We all crave the company of another, a momentary escape to make ourselves complete and whole again. I take this feeling as I step outside, to face yet another day…for now.
The butternut factory 